Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize