So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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