Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
