O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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