What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
