We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize