what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
