I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
