I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
