chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
