We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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