I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
