I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
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I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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