I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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