Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize