Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
a search helicopter?!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
