I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
