all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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