I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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