You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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