I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no. you can't hotbox the world.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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