Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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