Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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