I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night