her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My cat gives me a boner
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A+ Viking dick