i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.