Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.