so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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