I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize