Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
