yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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