I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
