Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm like, not good at living.
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