we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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