Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
