look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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