Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
