so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
