Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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