also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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