thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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