She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
