dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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