"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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