I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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