You just made me feel so damn special
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
