i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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