elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
