My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
