I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
