We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
