So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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