I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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