the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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