Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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