i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
