whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
