Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
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