he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize