i'm signing you up for texting rehab
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
